


Lost Without You

by mttrailblazer



Series: Rooster Teeth Fanfics [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: But everyone's got some, Fake AH Crew, Focused mainly on Gavin's pain, Freewood - Freeform, Jeremy tries to comfort Gavin, M/M, Not Beta Read, Ryan Dies, battle buddies, team love and stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 01:43:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12121827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mttrailblazer/pseuds/mttrailblazer
Summary: Ryan's gone and Gavin just can't cope.





	Lost Without You

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a bunch of angst. I'm a pessimist, so there ya go.

Gavin sits in his computer chair and stares at the picture of Ryan and himself on his desk.  The only thing lighting up his room is the monitor, but that was about three seconds from shutting off.  But even if it did, it made no real difference to him - for there was no light without his love.  Or, really, there was no  _ world  _ without his love.

Ryan had . . .  _ gone _ . . . several days ago.  At first, he had just disappeared, but everyone had just said he was on another killing spree.  Even though Gavin had a bad feeling in his chest about this one, he had believed them.  Up until Ryan had left that voicemail. 

Gavin’s hands scramble across his desk to grab his phone and listen to the voicemail again.  In this process, he bumps a cup of old, stale coffee over his new keyboard - the one Ryan had bought him two days before he disappeared - and the mouse which awakens the computer.  Ignoring the blinding light and the ruined keyboard, he plays the voicemail for what had to be the seven hundredth time in the last six days.

His frail hands shake as he hears Ryan in a disgruntled voice say, “Hey, dear.  Listen, I did something bad and got myself in a situation I don’t think I’ll be able to get out of.  I just wanted to let you know that I love you so much and am always with you.  Goodbye, Gavin.” 

Gavin had found that only thirty-seven minutes after Ryan had left it.  While he worked on Ryan’s location based on his phone, Jack, Geoff, and Jeremy listened to it.  Within a minute and forty-nine seconds, Gavin had found Ryan.  The crew were quickly on their way, Michael listening to the voicemail in the SUV.

When they got there, they found that it was a barren warehouse.  Run down, all of the windows were either cracked or missing, the brick had lost its color, and the door wasn’t even on hinges.  Because of this, no one could stop Gavin from running in with his gun raised - they just followed him suit.

The sight they found was sickening.  The place was empty save for terrifyingly large puddles of blood, the Vagabond’s jacket torn in half, his mask shattered into several pieces, and a body.

Gavin had almost run to the body, but Michael grabbed him by the waist and held him back because he knew whose body that was.  Jeremy stayed back by his own choice because that was his Battle Buddy, his best friend.  He didn’t want to see  _ his  _ mangled body.

So, it was Jack and Geoff who went to check on their fellow Gent.  They both kneeled by him, and it only took a moment for Geoff to be sure while Jack went over all their new enemies had done to him.

Geoff looked over his shoulder and solemnly nodded at the Lads.  Jeremy covered his mouth with his hand and tried to keep his emotions under control while Gavin started screaming and thrashing around in Michael’s arms.  Michael just stood there and silently cried, holding Gavin and letting him collapse in his arms from exhaustion.

They didn’t let Gavin see the body until they had made it bearable to look at, but Gavin could gather what had happened from their whisperings.  Whoever had done this had scalped him, taken all of his teeth out, yanked his finger and toe nails out, and taken most of his fingers and toes after the nails.  Andy, who had done the autopsy, believed that this was all done before they actually killed him.

For the funeral, someone had stitched his jacket back up and repaired the mask they best they could.  Gavin had to give whoever had done that props because it made Ryan almost look normal as he lay there.

The funeral itself was quiet, everyone just standing around while his body burned.  Gavin was the first to leave, going back to the penthouse and locking himself in his room.  He couldn’t bare to look at their heartbroken and sympathetic faces.  He couldn’t bare to face them without Ryan at his side.

So, as Gavin sits in his chair six days after the funeral and his phone slips out of his feeble hands - god, he couldn’t even feed himself without Ryan, could barely drink water - he finds that he’s starving himself and he’s okay with that.  It all just brings him that much closer to being with Ryan.

But then someone opens the door and whispers his name.  He really doesn’t have the strength to look at them, so they just come in, they being Jeremy.

And Jeremy looks at the lifeless boy who looks as if he matched the building they had found Ryan in.  His dirty blond hair and beard are greasy, disheveled, and a little overgrown.  His skin is grossly pale, his finger nails filthy, and his eyes dull.  He also seems to have lost some weight.  And for the first time since Jeremy had met him, he’s not wearing any jewelry or expensive clothing.

It terrifies the younger, slightly less disheveled man.

“Gavin, when was the last time you ate, buddy?”  Gavin doesn’t even look at him, just shrugs his shoulders.

So, Jeremy looks at him for another moment before picking him up bridal style and carrying him out to the hallway where the others were waiting.  They all watch while Jeremy carries him to Geoff’s bathroom, gets him undressed, and sets him in the bath they had made for him.  Then Geoff runs to the kitchen to get some food together as Jack and Michael go to help Jeremy make sure he’s bathed and clean.

Because he won’t do it himself, the three soap him off, rinse him off, and trim his hair and beard.  Gavin just stares into space while they do it.  Finally, when Jack goes to start clipping his fingernails, he looks up at him and yanks his hand back, looking back and forth between all of them with feral eyes.

“Gavin,” Michael whispers, “It’s just us, boi.”  And Gavin realizes what’s happening, so he gives Jack his hand and starts daydreaming.

_ Gavin runs up to Ryan with so much adrenaline after their most recently pulled off heist.  “Lovely Ryan,” he greets as he follows the bigger man into his room. _

_ “Not right now, dear.”  Gavin frowns as he shuts the door behind him. _

_ “But Ryan,” he whines, wrapping his arms around his lovely boyfriend’s waist. _

_ “Gavin, not right now.” _

_ “You know I was going to let you  _ fuck me into the mattress _ , but I guess not.”  He turns to leave the room, but before he can even take two steps away, Ryan grabs him, turns him around, and throws him onto his shoulder.  Gavin can’t help but wildly giggle as Ryan carries him to the bed. _

“Gavin, buddy, I need you to eat this.”  He comes out of his daydream and looks up at Geoff holding out a plate to him.  He’s still in the bathtub, but the water’s getting cool and he feels that it’s more like bathing in his own feces than he is clean water.  So, he stands, steps out of the tub, and sits on the edge of it, taking the sandwich and eating it.  The rest of them watch as he just sighs and lets them stare at his naked body.

Jeremy’s the one to ask, “You want to get some clothes on, Gav?”  Gavin just shrugs his shoulders, too focused on devouring the sandwich.  Jeremy decides for him and stands to leave.

“Jeremy?”  He turns back to Gavin as he realizes that that gravelly voice was his, tainted by disuse.  “Will you get me one of Ryan’s t-shirts?”  Jeremy stares at him for a second before nodding his head.

Then he leaves and Gavin finishes the sandwich.  Taking the plate from him, Geoff hands him a water bottle.  Gavin takes that and chugs it.  Once he’s finished, Michael gently places his hands on his fellow Lad’s shoulder.  Gavin flinches, but quickly relaxes under his best friend’s hand.

Jeremy comes back into the bathroom with a black t-shirt that was obviously Ryan’s and a pair of sweatpants that were Gav’s.  He helps Gavin get dressed and then they all wait for Gavin to decide what he’s going to do.  Gavin just leaves the bathroom and goes across the hallway to Ryan’s room, shutting the door behind him and leaving them out there.

While Gavin buries himself in Ryan’s blankets, Michael looks at Geoff.  “He isn’t alright,” he declares.

Geoff meets his eyes and snaps, “Are any of us?”

“No, but he’s worse off than us,” Michael says a bit louder than Geoff.

“He lost his boyfriend, Michael.  He needs time to mourn, it’s only been six days,” Jeremy says even louder than Michael.

“Sitting there and not taking care of himself isn’t mourning, Jeremy,” Jack says, much more calmer than anyone else.  “Right now, as far as Gavin’s concerned, we’ve lost both of them.” 

So, Jeremy - just as before - takes charge and goes into Ryan’s room.  Leaving the door behind him open, he sits on the edge of the bed and looks at Gavin’s tear-stained face.  “Gav, you know this isn’t good for you,” he tells the older man. 

“He’s not here, Jeremy.”  Jeremy grimaces as he runs his fingers through Gavin’s hair.  “I keep expecting him to show up and scold me for not feeding myself or something.  But I know he’s not going to, and it hurts so bad.  I miss him so goddamn much.”  Jeremy holds him as he really starts crying.  Jeremy can’t stop himself from crying, too.


End file.
